April 24, 2024
Our family trip to Disneyland in November, 2022 (in the Star Wars ride lineup, of course)
For those who do not have myself on Facebook, i think it’s important to begin with sharing with a heavy heart that my mom, Tammy Dyck, passed on Wednesday, April 24, 2024.
I have been putting off writing this post for over a week now. The last couple of days were really difficult, and so reflecting on it has been something we’ve all been actively avoiding. I also wanted to do her justice, though this proves an impossible task.
To be honest, I am still not fully prepared to replay those days in detail, nor do I think it is helpful for everyone to read and envision. Here is my best effort at the “right” amount to say.
We were highly encouraged over her last weekend. She seemed stronger than we had expected, three rounds into chemo. We got her to sit up in a chair for a few hours, a real chair! That was her “physio” for the day on Sunday. Her Monday had been significantly better than Mondays the last couple chemo weeks. Usually this is when the chemo really begins to take its worst toll. But, Tammy had been awake and present with us far more than previous weeks. We see now that this was a very special gift from the Lord. The bilirubin was supposed to take her mind far sooner than it did, but we had every day up until her last day fully present with her, so we could continue to make beautiful memories and treasure weeks of her humour and genuine tenderness she offered so sacrificially in the midst of her suffering.
Monday was peaceful and hopeful. She received hormone blockers to help protect her during her following week off of chemo. This would prevent cancer growth. I left that evening feeling confident that she was improving. We had our regular goodnight routine, a hug and “I love you” followed by “you are my sunshine”, then “I love you” again. This was the last time my mother was present with me.
That night, she took a sharp turn downhill while her sister Charmy stayed the night with her, comforting her and advocating for her. Her breathing worsened, her pain returned with power. Tuesday was spent doing everything we could to make her more comfortable. This day, we could see that the bilirubin in her system had increased, making her more confused and much less present with us. Her body worsened to a point where we had to fully medicate her with the toughest pain medication that we could, which also sedated her. That was the afternoon of Tuesday. She then passed just after 8:30 on Wednesday morning. At that time, she was peaceful and out of pain, surrounded by each of her kids, her husband, her sister, and her parents.
Our family is struggling, there isn’t a way to put it more gently. We have a lot to process. We really had hope that we’d at least have a few sunny months with our sunshine girl. We were not ready, and we are feeling the effects of walking through the valley of the shadow of death with Tammy over the last 7 weeks. We saw up close and personal the evil that exists in the world. I know many of you have seen this before too, and know how debilitating it can be.
Please have grace with us, as our bodies and hearts heal from this time.
Our hearts also go out to all of you, who have been losing sleep and shedding tears in prayer for us and our Tammy. Still, amidst the chaos and devastation, we feel the presence of the Holy Spirit, and experience evidence of being lifted up in prayer and support by our community. Although we suffer, we feel peace that surpasses all understanding, knowing Tammy is now well, and knowing that the Lord is holding us closely. He has a plan to use this for good and for His glory. He feels our pain with us and hates this more than we can understand. He also loves Tammy more than we do. We know we will adapt and move forward, but right now still feel the achingly large holes in our souls that Tammy filled. We have so many questions. But we know God is good, and he never lets evil win in the end.
My favourite verse comforts me this week:
John 1:5
“the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it”.
She has taught us to love. Taught us to seek joy in the Lord. Taught us to fight hard for what is good. Taught us to suffer well. Taught us to face our fears and bake our enemies cupcakes. She has increased my understanding of and capacity to love, by loving me so well for 27 years, and I think that goes for all who knew her. And that which she taught us came from her Lord, she never let us forget.
I have not much else to say right now. I’ll end with one of Tammy’s favourite verses:
James 1:2-4
Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
Celebration of Life Announcement:
We’d like to invite you to join us in celebrating the life of Tammy Dyck on
Wednesday, May 15, 2024 at 1 PM at
Northview Church, Abbotsford BC.
Please find the link to the RSVP form HERE.
We will be in the main sanctuary for the service, followed by an English Tea reception in the same building just a few steps away from the sanctuary.
Tammy would want this to be a service focused on gratitude to God for the life she was given, and on the joy she had in Him, and so it is not necessary to wear black or muted colours. Feel welcome to dress as bright as you’d like!
In lieu of gifts and flowers, we will have options for donations available for causes close to Tammy’s heart.
Please feel welcome to join, whether you knew her well or even if she only briefly impacted your life.
More information to follow soon.
