April 12, 2024
The daisy tattoo on my wrist is one that I got for her, because her favourite flowers are daisies. It was also the name of her dog who passed a couple years ago.
The doctors really seem to care about our hearts, and some do that while preparing us for the harsh realities many families face in our position, and others seem to want to encourage us to “think positive” and fight hard. We feel like we have whiplash, to say the least. We know both of these outlooks are correct, and the doctors are being so considerate on either side. Her condition is very poor. Her liver is currently not working well enough. Even if the cancer was to disappear, her liver function may not be adequate to sustain life. But, there are always exceptions and the doctors in here have seen people in Tammy’s spot get a decent amount of time, while others lose their battles with their bodies quickly. The doctors continued to treat her as if she will be ready for chemo, even though they remind us that is still up in the air. We are grateful for their mirrored hope in her.
The feeding tube and sodium IV have already given us uncountable blessings. Tammy has been far more alert and herself than she’s been in weeks. Her voice came back, and she has been able to hold conversations and answer in full sentences for longer stretches of time before falling asleep again.
I don’t know how to stress enough but know I ask this with all my whole soul - we need you to pray today that the oncologist will move her forward with chemo, that her body would respond to it well and right away, and for her liver.
Yesterday, it didn’t sound like we’d be moving forward with chemo today, but the doctors have continued to treat her as if she will be. It does sound like the chemo will be administered. Her sodium levels have been stabilized. All morning without ceasing we are praying for miracles each step of the way, since the odds seem to be stacked against us.
Yesterday, we also decided to consent to a pic line procedure which made me queasy when I heard about it - it’s long and large but we were told if we get this one special IV, then they don’t have to keep poking her anymore. Chemo, blood work, everything could be done by this one line. Unfortunately this morning, we noticed that he arm had swelled like a water balloon, which means that likely, an IV popped out again and filled her arm with fluid. They don’t know for sure if this is the cause, but if it is, the swelling should go down somewhat quickly. Instead, they gave her something about halfway between an IV and a picc line, called an extended dwell. This will be able to take all the IV fluids, and about 50% of people are able to use it for blood work as well. Let’s hope this is the case. We were just told post procedure that we can’t use this extended dwell though for chemo. This scares us. Her arm is so swollen, we really hope this does not mean she cannot move forward with chemo today.
If her swelling in her arm goes down, they will put in the pic line in a few days. They will also remove the drain in a few days, because they are meant to be left in only for a few days, but it has been over a week now. If needed, they will look at putting in a permanent drain.
Earlier when she was feeling chipper, she asked how she could help other people who are going through what she is. I remembered that one doctor had told us that out of 9 patients he had seen that morning, the 8 before us all had been without family. This has been prompting us to reflect on how many little things we do a day for Tammy. Not to pump our own tires, but seriously, we are here night and day attentive to her every need and I can’t imagine what spot she’d be in without that. Again, the nurses are spectacular and we thank God daily for them but they have dozens of patients and can’t hear her tiny whispers when she can’t find her call button. They can’t read her eyebrow language when she can’t speak with words. They aren’t allowed to run to grocery stores to pick up the only things she has an appetite for.
At Tammy’s request, we are trying to think of how we can bless the patients in here with no family helping. Perhaps it’s just a Starbucks run or a dash to the grocery store to pick up something they are craving, or to sit and pray with them. We are not sure but we are thinking of how Tammy can participate in organizing something like this.
I’m going to write down a few stories today I think about my mom, because she’s one of the most generous and joyful people i’ve ever met.
If you have a story you’d like to submit about a kind thing that Tammy has done for you, a way that she's blessed you, or a way that she’s brought you joy, please submit them to the email address we’ve made for her: lovefortammydyck@gmail.com. I’ll post a few later today or tomorrow.
And urgently, once more, we ask you to pray pray pray.
