April 02, 2024

These have put such a huge smile on Tammy’s face. She adores them.

I’m so very sorry for the lack of updates over the long weekend. A few components were at play for that - Tammy’s pain was up and down all weekend and so we felt like we needed to watch her with utmost intention. Also, every time I am not having something pressing to do, I find myself falling asleep (I have never been a nap person). All of us feel extraordinarily sleepy, which is likely from watching Tammy snooze most of each day but also, i’m sure, from or new sporadic sleep schedules (and perhaps also from coming down a bit from our adrenaline rush of a Spring Break).

On that note, I want to thank everyone today for the gift cards we’ve received - They have blessed us so much this week. Tammy’s appetite most days is open nearly exclusively for Starbucks and so this has helped us kids be able to keep buying what she wants when she wants it, in turn helping her keep down more calories. We’ve also been able to buy more treats for ourselves than we otherwise would have which goes a long way on these long and trying days. People have also supplied us with Restaurant and Meal Delivery Service gift cards which we’ve used to have family dinners all together in the hospital. These times have also been so special to us, so we thank you.

Tammy kept experiencing a lot of pain after her procedures last Thursday. For a few days it was terrible to watch her battle these pain spikes, and use her breaks from the pain really only to sleep long enough to prepare for the next pain spike. It was largely due to the drain, as it pulled liquid from her abdomen. Now that her tolerance to the drugs has increased, we’ve been able to see her dose increase and now she has been out of pain for about 2 days.

Her appetite was down until this pain went away as well, and that was really scary to us. I’ve said it before but I can’t stress enough that we need her to eat so that she can be strong enough to endure cancer treatment. Now that the pain has eased, she is getting more quality sleep for longer as well and that too contributes to her overall preparedness for treatment.

We’ve been learning more about her condition and we have more to process and come to terms with every few days. We know that we need to treasure our time with her. She has stage 4 cancer that is spreading and causing increasing damage to her body. So many things could go wrong very quickly. Our biggest concerns include that her body would not be able to withstand treatment to slow down the disease. Also, her immune system is so fragile both now as she’s very sick, and later as she’ll be treated for the cancer, that any illness could be irrecoverable for her. This means we have a balancing act to perform, in our own social lives and in hers. We need to be so very careful, but also, let her have the highest quality of life possible which does include seeing loved ones.

I’ll try now to break down some of the specific days for you, as much as I can pull them apart in my mind.

Friday, Tammy was in frequent and horrible pain, but we had a window of peace where we were able to have family dinner all together in her room. Although her body was still sluggish and slow, she joked around and asked questions and it felt like we were really visiting with our Tammy again.

On Saturday, she had to deal with pain for most of the day, but I was able to give Tammy a shower and oh my, was that ever glorious to her. She showered for about an hour just in absolute heaven after 2 weeks of sitting and being poked and probed like a science experiment. We prayed earnestly for relief from the pain, and the Lord answered. The entire shower was pain-free and she left smelling like Aveda hair products once again and feeling like a new woman. The pain did come back later and through the night Saturday night, and this day we were extremely concerned about her appetite.

On Sunday, some of her drain fluid leaked which was nasty. Keaton and I changed the sheets and cleaned her up. Overall though, Sunday was a gift of a day. The pain seemed to be at ease, Tammy sent Jeff on a mission to get all the Easter treats she usually gives us kids, and she was able to give them to us when we all went to visit her in the evening together. Riley began to plant the potted plants that have been gifted to us and Tammy’s yard is now looking bright and cheery!

Monday was an encouragement to us all; it was the best we’d seen her since this all began. The pain was under control, everyone was just sleepy and spent the day feeling sprouts of normalcy as Tammy’s wit and stubbornness seemed to be back even more (although still with less of a filter than usual because of the pain medication) and we were able to squeak in some normal activities, since there were no emergencies to attend to. Tammy flipped through Stampin’ Up catalogues and planned cards to make. My dad and her spent a couple of hours in the evening watching TV snuggled in the hospital bed.

This morning, I am with her and my dad in her room, sun is shining through the windows, and all is calm. Tammy’s strength has been increasing, and she hugs us with a bit of power in her muscles again. She still cannot sit up for more than a minute or two, and can just barely walk across the room with a walker at times. She eats a few bites per meal, which is so much better than before, but not enough. She was able to call a friend or two for the first time this weekend, and has been able to have a few friends come visit her when she’s been awake and alert and this has been life-giving to her. She is still draining quite a bit of fluid, so the abdomen bloating has gone down massively and she says she feels so much better with it gone. We had been told that the drain might come out today, but we don’t know that for sure. Each time she drains 2.5L, she receives a liquid drip that is supposed to help her body replace the blood she loses in the fluid i think, I am not quite sure how it works. She’s had at least 4 of those that I’ve seen, but likely more.

Tammy also has her first meeting with her oncologist today, and her biopsy results are supposed to come back on Thursday. We’d love for them to come back sooner so that we can move forward with treatment.

If you can, please pray today for her appetite, for her body to be healthy enough for treatment, for it to fight for her and work as it needs to, for treatment to be effective (giving us more time with Tammy but also for it to help fight of painful symptoms). Pray for her to have a high quality of life - to be able to make cards and bake and do her other favourite activities soon. Also - for her oncology appointment and biopsy results.

And from dad, “a big hug and thanks to Charmy, Tam’s sister, for flying up from Mexico and doing so many night shifts with us here at the hospital.”

With love,

Riley and the Dyck Family